Bad Ass Coffee, Gone
Shocker in South Salem, the Bad Ass Coffee drive thru and cafe is out of business. I drove by it today and a sign out front says the space is vacant. Closed signs adorn the doors. Bad Ass is a national chain with franchises all over the country from Hawaii and Alaska to New Jersey and Florida. There's even a couple of stores in Asia. The coffee business seems to be taking a beating these days. They say that coffee is a luxury item and it's the first thing that people cut back on during tough economic times. I do not know what caused Bad Ass to go out of business in Salem but I did observe them try to lure customers into their store with lots of signs, mascots and coffee coupons. There was one coupon in a mailer for a free small coffee. Although I said earlier that I would never go in there, for free coffee, I might have changed my mind. I clipped the coupon and put it in my wallet, hoping that I might get a few minutes to go in there one day. I never got the chance. Another time, I ate at one of those fast food chains next door, I think it was Samurai Sams, which was pretty bad and expensive by the way, I peaked in on Bad Ass Coffee to see what it was like. Inside was a tropical Hawaiian scene with bamboo furniture and a stuffed donkey. As written earlier, I don't understand the marketing of associating coffee with a mule. Starbucks, founded in Seattle, is built around the image of a twin tailed siren from Greek mythology. Dutch Bros., has a windmill and the association with the Netherlands, a liberal European country, north of Belgium. When I think of the phrase "bad ass," I think of someone riding a Harley, tattoos, leather, bandannas, and facial hair. If you fit that stereotype, I'm guessing you don't need to buy a cup of coffee to prove your badness. I don't mean to kick a business when it's down and out, but this place really irked me because of it's bold use of the word "ass." At the time when they first opened, my son was learning to read and he was noticing the signs around town and reading them to us. It was a wonderful parenting moment for both my wife and I hearing our son see the world in a new way. It wasn't so much that a business tried to do something like this as it was the City of Salem allowed these signs to go up. Don't we have an ordinance against profanity? I guess not. So long, Bad Ass, I truly hope that the owners and employees find other work soon.
When I was a kid, if my grandmother ever heard me say the "A" word, she would wash my mouth out with soap. Nowadays, it's become more acceptable and in Salem they are putting the word in neon red lights for all to see. This coffeehouse on Commercial Street near Walgreen's is proud of it's ass and they are hoping that ass will bring in lots of thirsty customers. Looking at their ass closely, I can't figure out why they think it's so bad. It's not big or too hairy. Maybe their ass smells bad. It's funny because I never thought of putting an ass and coffee together. When I taste a beverage, hot or cold, I never think about asses because they're dirty and I wouldn't want one near my drink. But the owner here must think that Salem is ready for his ass and they want you to drive thru and get a tall dark one. (coffee that is) So Eat Salem welcomes this new business and their ass mascot to our city even though I will probably never go there.
Almost as quickly as I can type the words "ass mascot" does one appear on the streets of South Salem. I almost drove my car off the road, when I saw someone dressed in an ass costume waving customers into their coffeehouse. I felt sorry for this poor person who must have been sweating his ass off inside the furry costume on this hot summer day. If the owners or employees of Bad Ass Coffee read this blog, please email me when the ass will be back on the street. firstname.lastname@example.org. I would love to get a picture of it.
4340 Commercial St SE
Salem, OR 97302